Growing up as a little dairy farmers daughter we had a wonderful life being farm kids. I always knew that I wanted to be a mum, I would walk around the farm singing and thinking in my own little farm kid world.
Looking back we may not have had finer things in life, we were always late to events or we had to leave early to milk the cows. We didn't have many family holidays but we had a wonderful childhood. We are lucky to have our beautiful Nan live with us all our life until we left home to make our own families.
So I got married and thought I'd fall pregnant right away when I thought the time was right. But it didn't happen like that. My sisters and sisters inlaw all fell pretty much straight away so I thought I would be the same.
1 year later and it finally happened. To say I was excited to start my family was an understatement. February 2014 I gave birth to my darling boy Brax. We were so in love and was ready to start this next phase of our life, the life I dreamt of when I was that little girl on the farm. I was big on writing his sleep pattern down and trying to do parenting by the book.
1 year later I fell pregnant with my beautiful little Sophie Doll. I love her little attitude and from day dot she stole our hearts. As the weeks rolled around and my husband went back to work I was in a bad way mentally and this dream i dreamt of was not exactly how i planned. I was meant to bounce out of bed and enjoy the days going to the park and reading stories. But it was actually the oppisite, I didn't have any drive and lucky i had a wonderful midwife that rang me this day when I was not in a good place. I was diagnosed with OCD and realised i should have got help earlier on in life. By the way it isn't the OCD that you have everything in order and clean but I would sit on the lounge and pray for ages thinking that if I didn't do it in the right order I would have to start all over. I didn't have her Birth Certificate done because everytime I went to do it I had to do rituals and I had to find a pen then wasn't from my husbands workplace or I would think something bad will happen to her. I am so lucky I got help and now medicated.
I was also feeling like I wasn't doing my bit for our household bills so I decided to start my Clothing Store Among The Gumtrees, Kids Wear. But if you know anything about owning your own business it is hard. Sometimes the people that you thought would support you don't. So that was a wake up call. In saying that I had a lot of family and friends that stood by me and supported my little Australian Business.
In July 2018 I had my 3rd gorgeous little baby Mr Dusty. We had so much going on that he went along for the ride for the first year of his life. There was not much routine with Mr Dusty. My Mr Brax started Kindy. I started playing sport. Sophie started ballet and I am in a committee for our local event, The Clarence Town Hoedown and the list goes on. My husband works away a bit or does long hours so last year got really hard and felt like I was loosing myself and just didn't know what to do. I was lucky to have some wonderful friends and family to help me get back on track.
So 2020 is my year to blossom and grow. Last year I closed my shop from buying other company products and decided to focus on sewing handmade products, clothing and toys with the help from my wonderful Mum. I am looking in to also buying in and support Australian small businesses run by mums.
Looking back of my first 6 years of being a Mumma I have done the best job I could do and we all need the support that I was received, If you ever need to let out some steam I'm only and email away email@example.com
I have always wanted 3 kids so I am so blessed to be given them. God heard my prayers and I think he is listening to me calling out for help to get me on track with this beautiful thing called life.
Knowing what I have been through, I want to help other mums that just feel like they are alone and not worth anything. But I'm telling you Mumma Bears that you have got this and we can all help each other grow and be the best Mums we can be.
I know I'm not always going to feel amazing but if we have the support and love from each other we can move mountains.
God Bless, Love Jess xoxo